I shall close my eyes, you will sweep me off my feet and I will fall madly in love with you. I miss the rush, the high of a new love, but this time I would love to like you too...No matter how things end up between us I want to be able to proudly proclaim to anyone that you were my lover and furthermore a wonderful man. I would like you to be honest, kind, patient and so much more not to get my attention or to get in my pants, not because we're in the beginning nor because of the circumstances or just because I'm your girlfriend. You mustn't be ideal, not even what I imagined to be the perfect man for me and I might still fall hard for your good heart, sharp mind and witt. However, don't ask me to keep loving you once I stop liking you...my values are not sacrifices to be burnt on a love pyre. My heart may be a traitor and stand by you, but once my mind starts to criticize you, it truly is the beginning of the end.
Here's the conundrum then...if everything I so righteously stated above is true, then how about unconditional love? Isn't true love (not necessarily healthy) the kind of love we all aspire to? It sure is the stuff of my dreams, which brings me to an uncomfortable conclusion of hypocrisy. I wish to be loved unconditionally, in spite and even because of my flaws, but I cannot in good conscience promise the same. Or maybe it should be unconditional only between parents and children (both ways)? But even in that case it is difficult to establish which should take moral precedence: the "obligation" to love or the duty/right to sanction what you don't like? Does the love card trump everything else or is love to be bestowed only to those deserving it? And if it's the latter, then who decides the criteria according to which one is deserving? Are values more important than people?
Is it the ultimate hubris....to imagine you can choose to love only the people that you like, or is it a sign of strength and devotion to be able to love somebody even when you don't approve their choices and you don't like all that they've become?
Regardless of the possible answers, I believe that I would rather prefer to be liked and on top of that loved, since love happens to you (willing or not), but "liking" is a rational choice. So, future lover of mine, I wish to be chosen by you and not merely be thrust upon you by fate; but I will hope against hope to be re-chosen each day and be loved no matter what.
